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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29325510">Political GC Escapades</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/primuswhore/pseuds/primuswhore'>primuswhore</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Political RPF - US 20th c., Political RPF - US 21st c.</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Chatting &amp; Messaging, Crack Treated Seriously, Multi, not my original idea lol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:35:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,550</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29325510</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/primuswhore/pseuds/primuswhore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>lol saw @genewilderkinnie do this so why not. go read their’s<br/>~<br/></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bill Clinton/Al Gore, Hillary Clinton/Mitt Romney, Jill Biden/Joe Biden</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. someone ate kamala’s food, al gore sucks dick, and a fight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1:32 pm </p><p>mamala: lol, who ate the food that was in the container with the blue top 🤨</p><p>barryobama: i was out with joe </p><p>hillary: not me </p><p>billyboy: i took al out for lunch</p><p>albertg: ^</p><p>byeden: i bet donald ate it </p><p>mamala: whoever ate my food, it’s onsight i stg</p><p>slimjim: ok now this got interesting </p><p>bushsbeans: wait there’s a fight?</p><p>barryobama added rittmomney</p><p>rittmomney: wait wtf is going on?</p><p>barryobama: kamala is going to fight whoever ate her food</p><p>rittmomney: oh word?</p><p>barryobama: word</p><p>byeden: place your bets yall, if you think donald did it, respond with i </p><p>byeden: i</p><p>billyboy: i</p><p>albertg: i</p><p>bushsbeans: i</p><p>slimjim: i</p><p>hillary: i </p><p>barryobama: i </p><p>facistcheeto: the fuck?</p><p>hillary: omg </p><p>barryobama: it’s gonna go down</p><p>facistcheeto: why are people saying that i ate kamala’s food </p><p>billyboy: lmao because you did stupidass 😐</p><p>facistcheeto: SHUT THE FUCK UP BILL YOURE FUCKING GAY</p><p>billyboy: damn straight, but at least my man doesn’t fucking cockblock me 🥴✋🏽</p><p>byeden: OH SHIT </p><p>rittmomney: GIRL WHAT???</p><p>albertg: 😳</p><p>hillary: OH MY GOD </p><p>byeden: make that two fights then </p><p>billyboy: looking at you @pence 👀</p><p>pence: man wtf i’m not gay</p><p>billyboy: there’s nothing wrong with being gay, just admit that you like sucking dick and move on</p><p>barryobama: WHAT</p><p>mamala: 🤦🏽♀️</p><p>bushsbeans: why are we talking about sucking dick</p><p>slimjim: ^^^^^</p><p>byeden: BILL CHILL OUT </p><p>albertg: bill, please</p><p>billyboy: speaking of dick sucking, i sucked al’s dick yesterday </p><p>albertg: BILL WTF </p><p>hillary: 🤣🤣🤣</p><p>rittmomney: LMAOOO</p><p>mamala: omfg</p><p>bushsbeans: 😭😭😭</p><p>byeden: DYING RN </p><p>albertg: WHAT WAS THE REASON</p><p>albertg: WHAT WAS THE REASON FOR YOU TO SAY THAT?</p><p>byeden: but is it true tho?</p><p>rittmomney: 😳</p><p>albertg: yes but THAT WAS BETWEEN US </p><p>rittmomney: @billyboy does al suck dick? asking for a friend</p><p>bushsbeans: lmao that’s what i want to know </p><p>billyboy: hell yeah he sucks dick, and is fucking amazing at it </p><p>byeden: SCREAMING RIGHT THOS VERY MINUTE </p><p>rittmomney: THE FACT THAT HE’S SO BLUNT ABOUT IT </p><p>slimjim: 😭😭😭😭</p><p>mamala: @facistcheeto ok so im only going to ask you this once, and only once, did you eat my lunch that was in that container with the blue top yes or no???</p><p>facistcheeto: omfg yes i did</p><p>mamala: man what the hell?</p><p>byeden: FUCKING CALLED IT </p><p>mamala: but why though. you knew it was mine. it had my name on it </p><p>facistcheeto: you don’t know that i even ate it, you have no proof</p><p>bushsbeans: uh</p><p>byeden: BITCH YOU JUST ADMITTED TO IT</p><p>billyboy: you literally just admitted to it </p><p>mamala: someone pull the footage from the kitchen, mark the time from yesterday, 8am to 1pm </p><p>slimjim: on it </p><p>slimjim: [cam07-kitchen-11:42AM.mov]</p><p>billyboy: BYE </p><p>hillary: they caught you, you’re literally on video</p><p>byeden: LMAOO</p><p>mamala: we caught you in 4k, just own up to it </p><p>facistcheeto: that’s not me </p><p>pence: lmao just own up to it </p><p>facistcheeto: i’m not owning up to shit, she’s a skank anyways </p><p>mamala: hold on i’m on my way</p><p>albertg: dude what the hell</p><p>barryobama: dude wtf, you mad wrong for that </p><p>mamala: donald, meet me outside in front of the white house, joe, get your phone.</p><p>byeden: SAY LESS I AM ON MY WAY</p><p>hillary: omg wait i’m coming too</p><p>billyboy: BITCH THEY FINNA FIGHT </p><p>barryobama: EVERYONE MEET OUTSIDE RN</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. just dance 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>joe has the fight video, bush propositions a game</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>2:35 pm </p><p>byeden: [kamalafight.mp4]</p><p>bushsbeans: y’all are crazy 😂</p><p>billyboy: SHE BEAT THAT BITCH UP </p><p>rittmomney: ALL HAIL KAMALA. ALL HAIL KAMALA</p><p>mamala: i just did what i had to do </p><p>hillary: boss bitch status</p><p>barryobama: no but tell me why bill jumped in 😭</p><p>albertg: wait i saw that lol </p><p>byeden: FUCKING FOR REAL</p><p>pence: 😭😭</p><p>billyboy: gang gang </p><p>mamala: put some respect on his name!</p><p>rittmomney: LMAO</p><p>bushsbeans: 😂</p><p>hillary: all jokes aside, that was awesome </p><p>mamala: BITCH HE CAME IN SWINGING ASF</p><p>byeden: PERIOD</p><p>billyboy: 💁♀️</p><p>rittmomney: AS HE SHOULD </p><p>hillary: YALL- JIMMY IS HAVING A STROKE 🤣🤣</p><p>byeden: LMAO NOO 😭😭</p><p>albertg: bye- </p><p>bushsbeans: damn y’all done broke jimmy 😭</p><p>billyboy: CRYING</p><p>rittmomney: RIP JIMMY </p><p>slimjim: 🤣</p><p>slimjim: IM ALIVE </p><p>barryobama: he couldn’t handle bill and kamala’s sauce 😩✋🏽</p><p>rittmomney: the drip 😈😈😈</p><p>billyboy: as you should </p><p>byeden: BITCH BYE</p><p>hillary: LMAOAOAOAO</p><p>mamala: WHAT???</p><p>albertg: see, this is why i can’t with y’all </p><p>bushsbeans: wait y’all want to play just dance? i’ll go get it from jimmy’s room </p><p>hillary: omg yes i love that game </p><p>rittmomney: YES</p><p>mamala: i call joe and bill to be on my team </p><p>barryobama: i’ll take bush and gore </p><p>bushesbeans: bet</p><p>hillary: i want romney! </p><p>rittmomney: i’m with hillary </p><p>mamala: WAIT GET MCCONNELL AND CHENEY IN HERE RQ</p><p>bushsbeans: OH HELL NO</p><p>bushsbeans: NOT CHENEY</p><p>byeden: lmao hell no </p><p>billyboy: no to the both of them tf???</p><p>hillary: we don’t have enough players</p><p>mamala: ok here’s the teams:</p><p>me, joe, bill<br/>obama, bush and gore<br/>hillary and romney</p><p>mamala: that just leaves jimmy </p><p>slimjim: it’s fine i’ll just watch </p><p>mamala: ok we’re good </p><p>bushsbeans: omw to get the stuff now</p><p>byeden: prepare to get y’all’s asses beat 😂</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. albert gore jr was robbed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>the baddie trinity won, mitt gives hillary a nickname</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>7:44 pm</strong>
</p><p>hillary: send me all the pictures!</p><p>slimjim: [34 attachments]</p><p>hillary: the one with they guys and their trophy 

</p><p>slimjim: [1 attachment]</p><p>byeden: it looks good dont it</p><p>billyboy: PERIOD</p><p>rittmomney: boss bitches</p><p>slimjim: the press will absolutely love this</p><p>bushsbeans: yeah, al gore lost twice 😂</p><p>billyboy: OUT OF POCKET</p><p>byeden: GIRL WTF 😭😭😭😭</p><p>rittmomney: LMAO NO</p><p>hillary: stop 😭😭</p><p>barryobama: FOUL</p><p>albertg: bush i will not hesitate to beat your ass</p><p>billyboy: sweetheart, don’t do that, that’s uncalled for</p><p>albertg: bitch you literally jumped in kamala’s fight when donald was already on the ground</p><p>rittmomney: FOR REAL THO</p><p>slimjim: ^^^</p><p>mamala: that was nice and all but i already handled it</p><p>bushsbeans: lmao for real 

</p><p>albertg: also, bush you lost too wtf??</p><p>barryobama: anyone that isn’t kamala, joe and bill lost tbh</p><p>rittmomney: don’t lie tho, me and hills served</p><p>byeden: who tf is hills??</p><p>rittmomney: it’s hillary dumbass 🙄</p><p>mamala: since when has hillary been referred to as hills?</p><p>rittmomney: just now. its a little name for her. like a nickname</p><p>mamala: oh okay, makes sense</p><p>rittmomney: i think it’s cute</p><p>hillary: i like it!</p><p>bushsbeans: you should change your name so we can all have similar names!</p><p>
  <strong>hillary changed their name to "hills"</strong>
</p><p>hills: done</p><p>mamala: lol period!</p><p>rittmomney: yay!</p><p>byeden: YALL-</p><p>byeden: CHEETO MAN IS THROWING A FIT ON THE LAWN!!</p><p>byeden: IM ON RECORDING DUTY</p><p>billyboy: AT THIS POINT WE ALL ARE 

</p>
<p>albertg: meet y’all outside?</p><p>barryobama: omw out right now!</p><p>slimjim: ALREADY HERE!!</p><p>mamala: hillary, check your dm’s i just sent you a message</p><p>hills: okay!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. girl talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>kamala suspects something</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>private message between hillary and kamala</p><p>7:52 pm</p><p>mamala: do you like romney??</p><p>hills: what? is this because of the nickname thing</p><p>mamala: uh, yeah, plus multiple other reasons, why else</p><p>hills: does it look like we’re together?</p><p>mamala: define your version of together...</p><p>hills: like, bill and al</p><p>mamala: oh god no</p><p>mamala: bill is a sex maniac and al is the only thing keeping him together </p><p>hills: i mean, i kind of do like him, he’s super sweet and always complements me on my clothes</p><p>mamala: i though he was gay lmao </p><p>hills: you did?</p><p>mamala: yeah, if you haven’t noticed, he ALWAYS hangs out with you, you were his partner for the just dance competition, really anything we do, he always chooses you</p><p>mamala: not to mention, you changed your name to a nickname of his without hesitation </p><p>hills: when you think about it, that’s very likely</p><p>mamala: what do you like about him?</p><p>hills: i like his hair, his eyes, the way that he speaks, and even though he’s a republican, he’s a good senator</p><p>mamala: good reasons </p><p>mamala: why not ask him out 😏</p><p>hills: im scared lol</p><p>mamala: that’s fine, i’ll ask him for you!</p><p>hills: WHAT</p><p>mamala: didn’t he go outside? i need to find him hold on</p><p>hills: WAIT STOP</p><p>hills: KAMALA DONT</p><p>mamala: what? i though you liked him?</p><p>hills: i do! but i’ll ask him out</p><p>mamala: great, maybe you two could go on a double date with me and doug </p><p>hills: hold on, who’s doug?</p><p>mamala: no one, hold on, i need to find the rest of the guys </p><p>hills: hold on, i’ll level with you, if you don’t tell mitt i like him, i won’t tell anyone you’re dating someone </p><p>hills: is that cool?</p><p>mamala: omfg when did you become so evil </p><p>hills: i’ll take that as a yes</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. the late conversation with hillary</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>hillary talks to romney</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>private messaging with hillary and mitt </p><p>8:01 pm </p><p>hills: hey, where are you?</p><p>rittmomney: im back inside now, did you see what went on outside???</p><p>hills: no, what went on?</p><p>rittmomney: joe recorded it, but basically trump was acting like a baby and rolling around on the ground crying 😂😂</p><p>rittmomney: you should have been there it was funny </p><p>hills: do you have the video? send it to me if you have it </p><p>rittmomney: [bitchbaby.mp4]</p><p>hills: lmao 😭</p><p>hills: did you eat today? </p><p>rittmomney: yeah, did you? there was a whole bunch of food in the dining room</p><p>hills: yeah, i ate after the just dance thing</p><p>hills: we were great btw</p><p>rittmomney: lmao they know we won but they just gave themselves the trophy 😒</p><p>hills: i mean they did do rasputin without taking a break, we picked pump it 😂</p><p>rittmomney: true</p><p>hills: anyways, are you free tomorrow? </p><p>rittmomney: yeah, why?</p><p>hills: i was thinking maybe we could have dinner together, like a date!</p><p>rittmomney: yes ofc!!!</p><p>hills: for real?</p><p>rittmomney: for sure, i’ve always liked you, i was about to ask the same thing</p><p>hills: we’ll have it in the dining room or in the backyard if the others don’t bother us, maybe around 7 tomorrow</p><p>rittmomney: period lol. does anyone else know about this?</p><p>hills: only kamala, she grilled me about it earlier</p><p>rittmomney: alright, i’ll be there at 7!</p><p>hills: yay!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. white house lawn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>kamala is awoken to music, romney drops a subtle bomb</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>4:30 am </p><p>byeden: bitch who is blasting music rn?</p><p>byeden: i literally cannot be the only one who doesn’t hear that</p><p>barryobama: i hear it too wtf</p><p>rittmomney: hold on</p><p>rittmomney: MOTHERFUCKER THATS JUICEWRLD</p><p>rittmomney: THEYRE BLASTING JUICEWRLD</p><p>rittmomney: 💀💀💀</p><p>byeden: BYE LMAO</p><p>mamala: whoever is blasting that trash, turn that shit off </p><p>bushsbeans: y’all are waking everyone up, turn it off </p><p>rittmomney: yes lol i’m trying to sleep</p><p>albertg: yes, for god’s sake it’s four in the morning</p><p>mamala: my mind isnt really with me rn so hold on, where is everyone staying rn?</p><p>mamala: name who you’re with if you’re sharing a room, and the floor</p><p>mamala: bc it sounds like it’s coming from the first floor </p><p>bushsbeans: im by myself, first floor, near the dining room</p><p>albertg: bill’s asleep and won’t stay tf out of my room so he’s with me, second floor </p><p>barryobama: by myself, second floor</p><p>byeden: im alone, but not for long 😩, second floor</p><p>rittmomney: GONE 😭</p><p>barryobama: LMAO HUH???</p><p>albertg: im honestly so tempted to wake bill up for that one line</p><p>bushsbeans: WHAT</p><p>byeden: 😈😈</p><p>mamala: you can talk about your sex life later, i need to find out who’s doing this fuckshit so i can beat a bitch up</p><p>barryobama: hold on i have another fight to plan...</p><p>mamala: and i know jimmy and hillary are in their rooms on the first and second, so that leaves romney</p><p>rittmomney: wait, hillary is in my room, on the first floor</p><p>barryobama: ...</p><p>byeden: WHAT????</p><p>bushsbeans: omg</p><p>mamala: damn well that was quick </p><p>albertg: wait why is she in a room with romney?</p><p>byeden: and what do you mean that was quick?????</p><p>rittmomney: hills and i just talked for a while <br/>then we both fell asleep</p><p>mamala: inside joke joe 👀</p><p>bushsbeans: mhm, where in your room is she sleeping?</p><p>rittmomney: you nasty fucker, she’s on the floor</p><p>rittmomney: i gave her blankets to make a pallet </p><p>albertg: you didn’t answer my question though,  why would she be in a room with you?</p><p>rittmomney: I JUST SAID WE TALKED </p><p>byeden: yeah right you gray haired son of a bitch</p><p>rittmomney: YOUR HAIR IS WHITE</p><p>bushsbeans: they totally made out</p><p>albertg: you wish you kinky bastard</p><p>bushsbeans: what? you’re mad bc you and bill were borderline doing it in your room with the door open</p><p>albertg: how the hell was i supposed to know before i saw your stupid ass standing there?</p><p>barryobama: but back to the topic, romney and hillary? wow</p><p>bushsbeans: yeah, but hillary is a nice girl, so romney is in the right hands</p><p>mamala: the music is still on, im going to see what it is</p><p>byeden: anyways, romney, y’all dating???</p><p>rittmomney: 🙄</p><p>albertg: what does that even mean </p><p>rittmomney: we arent lol, we just talked</p><p>rittmomney: then again, this is only between home and hills.</p><p>byeden: oh, a man of standards 😂</p><p>barryobama: that’s a good thing! </p><p>mamala: YALL TRUMP AND PENCE ARE OUTSIDE RN</p><p>byeden: WHAT</p><p>rittmomney: LMAO WHY</p><p>mamala: THEY HAVE A BOOMBOX AND ARE JUST SITTING ON THE LAWN</p><p>byeden: IM ON MY WAY FOR RECORDING PURPOSES </p><p>bushsbeans: it’s too early for this 🙄🙄</p><p>mamala: WAIT ITS TRUMP</p><p>mamala: PENCE IS JUST SITTING THERE BC TRUMP WAS A BITCH AND ASKED HIM TO</p><p>mamala: im going to beat this bitch up hold on </p><p>bushsbeans: girl im dead</p><p>rittmomney: WAIT WHATS HAPPENING NOW</p><p>rittmomney: WHATS GOING ON???</p><p>bushsbeans: KAMALA???</p><p>barryobama: SHES BEATING HIS ASS AGAIN</p><p>barryobama: I CAN SEE IT FROM MY WINDOW</p><p>rittmomney: HOLY SHIT </p><p>barryobama: AND PENCE IS JUST STANDING THERE</p><p>albertg: lmao im on my way 😂</p><p>bushsbeans: im too tired for this, just send me the video when y’all get done 😂😂</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. love is in the air</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>the guys interrogate romney, kamala and hillary reveal a secret, joe has a girlfriend</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>9:17 am</p><p>billyboy: wtf happened?</p><p>albertg: just scroll up a bit</p><p>byden: [kamalafightv2.mp4]</p><p>byden: there’s the video 😂</p><p>billyboy: HILLARY IS DATING MITT????</p><p>barryobama: probably </p><p>byden: he has to be lmao </p><p>rittmomney: ayo, that’s between me and her</p><p>billyboy: i didn’t know you had balls...</p><p>billyboy: congrats! </p><p>bushsbeans: 😂</p><p>billyboy: when did this start? </p><p>bushsbeans: she slept in his room last night</p><p>rittmomney: GEORGE WHAT THE FUCK</p><p>billyboy: REALLY????</p><p>barryobama: we heard music coming from downstairs and kamala was trying to single out who </p><p>barryobama: we had to list who we were with and what floor, and mitt said hillary was in his room </p><p>billyboy: YOU HAD SEX WITH HER???</p><p>rittmomney: NO </p><p>rittmomney: I DIDNT </p><p>byeden: are you sure? bc it sounds like you did 😏</p><p>rittmomney: I DIDNT </p><p>rittmomney: SHE MADE A PALLET ON THE FLOOR </p><p>billyboy: mhm, okay</p><p>byeden: lmao anyways, there’s this girl, and i date her</p><p>byeden: that’s it</p><p>bushsbeans: WHAT</p><p>albertg: wait really?</p><p>billyboy: omfg period</p><p>mamala: wait joe has a girlfriend?</p><p>albertg: congrats! what’s her name?</p><p>byeden: her name is jill!</p><p>mamala: awww</p><p>billyboy: WAIT THAT IS SO CUTE</p><p>bushsbeans: they start with the same letter 🥺</p><p>albertg: what does she look like?</p><p>byeden: green eyes, blonde hair, about 5’ 6”</p><p>bushsbeans: she sounds cute!</p><p>barryobama: i know her, she’s been with joe for a while now </p><p>slimjim: congrats to joe! </p><p>byeden: ty </p><p>byeden: wait can i add her in the chat?</p><p>albertg: go for it!</p><p>byeden added jillyj</p><p>jillyj: hello!</p><p>bushsbeans: hi!</p><p>slimjim: hey</p><p>mamala: hello!</p><p>albertg: hi!</p><p>billyboy: omg hello</p><p>jillyj: how are you all?</p><p>mamala: we’re fine, you?</p><p>jillyj: im doing well</p><p>bushsbeans: so, what do you do?</p><p>jillyj: im an educator!</p><p>billyboy: oh yeah she’s smart smart</p><p>jillyj: 😊</p><p>slimjim: that’s so cool!</p><p>hills: hello jill! </p><p>jillyj: hi!</p><p>bushsbeans: what do y’all want to eat, i might order a pizza </p><p>billyboy: @jillyj where do you live? </p><p>barryobama: bill wtf are you trying to stalk her?</p><p>rittmomney: @bushsbeans let me get a pasta from there </p><p>billyboy: no im just asking where she lives, it’s <br/>just a question lol</p><p>bushsbeans: @rittmomney sure</p><p>jillyj: new jersey, but im moving to dc in a few days </p><p>byeden: yeah she’s getting a house in the area </p><p>hills: would you be able to come by sometime?</p><p>jillyj: yes! i’ll be there to visit joe </p><p>hills: @rittmomney don’t eat just yet, remember?</p><p>rittmomney: ohh okay</p><p>bushsbeans: wait what does that mean</p><p>albertg: why can’t he eat? it’s almost lunch time anyways </p><p>mamala: it means that he has a date </p><p>mamala: with hillary </p><p>bushsbeans: 🧍♀️</p><p>billyboy: WHAT</p><p>albertg: oh my god </p><p>byeden: LMAOAOAOOO</p><p>barryobama: BYE-</p><p>byeden: WAIT ARE YOU SERIOUS</p><p>mamala: YES LMAO</p><p>jillyj: that’s so sweet! hope you guys have fun</p><p>hills: KAMALA WHAT THE HELL</p><p>slimjim: 🤣🤣🤣</p><p>billyboy: SO YOU DID HAVE SEX WITH HER</p><p>rittmomney: FOR THE LAST TIME I DIDNT </p><p>hills: I SLEPT ON THE FLOOR</p><p>billyboy: ok ig 🙄</p><p>hills: OKAY SO KAMALA IS DATING SOMEONE TOO </p><p>byeden: WAIT WHO</p><p>hills: HIS NAME IS DOUG </p><p>mamala: MAN FUCK YOU 😭😭</p><p>barryobama: bitch im gone</p><p>slimjim: this is too much, im taking a nap 🤣</p><p>rittmomney: OKAY KAMALA I SEE YOU OUT THERE GETTING IT </p><p>mamala: ROMNEY SHUT THE HELL UP </p><p>byeden: @jillyj im so sorry that you have to witness this on your first time meeting them 😐</p><p>jillyj: trust me it’s fine, you guys are really funny</p><p>bushsbeans: everyone send your orders for food</p><p>hills: well, im going to go get ready</p><p>billyboy: no but fr have fun</p><p>albertg: yes, don’t stay out too late!</p><p>rittmomney: lmao okay dad </p><p>mamala: have fun!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. what defines a milf?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>bush asks a question, kamala mentions a potential motherhood opportunity, obama starts a call</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>bushsbeans: lmao what the hell is a milf??</p><p>mamala: who tf even asked you that</p><p>billyboy: its stands for mom i’ll love forever</p><p>bushsbeans: oh okay</p><p>byeden: bitch you know you wrong</p><p>bushsbeans: so, my mom is a milf?</p><p>bushsbeans: and kamala is a milf?</p><p>barryobama: WHAT</p><p>billyboy: LMAO</p><p>pence: omfg</p><p>mamala: appreciate it but this is weird ash</p><p>billyboy: i agree with kamala being a milf tho</p><p>byeden: BYE LMAO</p><p>bushsbeans: aw thats so sweet!</p><p>albertg: you said what?</p><p>mamala: BITCH NO ITS NOT</p><p>billyboy: shit i though al was sleep</p><p>byeden: hold on, kamala doesn’t have a kid, so she can’t be a milf</p><p>mamala: actually i might be in a few months</p><p>albertg: do not ever assume that i am asleep</p><p>albertg: you were the one who came in my room late at night for me to suck your dick and ended up falling asleep in my bed</p><p>barryobama: 😳</p><p>bushsbeans: damn...</p><p>mamala: oop</p><p>byeden: @mamala what? how?</p><p>mamala: yeah, doug has a daughter and ive been spending a lot of time with her</p><p>mamala: ive considered being her step mom</p><p>byeden: HOLY SHIT KAMALAS GETTING MARRIED</p><p>billyboy: PUT THAT ON GOD</p><p>barryobama: wait fr?</p><p>mamala: NO IM NOT</p><p>bushsbeans: you should bring her over sometime!</p><p>mamala: i will, i’ll just have to talk to doug about it</p><p>mamala: and bill you know damn well you’re the furthest thing from god</p><p>byeden: DAMN</p><p>albertg: omfg</p><p>billyboy: 😭😭</p><p>barryobama: and that’s on god 🙏🏽</p><p>bushsbeans: lmao</p><p>byden: where’s hillary and mitt?</p><p>billyboy: they were still outside on the balcony when i went to sleep</p><p>mamala: omg...</p><p>mamala: someone go knock on his door and see if he’s in there</p><p>
  <strong>barryobama started a call</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. the call</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>obama starts a call</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the following is what conspired during (and after) the call</p><p>
  <strong>10:47 pm</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>mamala, byeden, and three others join</strong>
</p><p>barryobama: romney? ROMNEY! are you in there?</p><p>mamala: bill, are you sure you saw them on the balcony?</p><p>billyboy: im positive, they were having drinks and listening to music</p><p>bushsbeans: i doubt that they actually left the house</p><p>barryobama: okay, im about to open the door</p><p>byeden: bye, this is straight out of a law an order episode</p><p>billyboy: WHAT</p><p>albertg: y’all, quit playing</p><p>barryobama: y’all...</p><p>mamala: what</p><p>bushsbeans: what? what’s in there?</p><p>barryobama: this is hillary’s jacket</p><p>byeden: hold it up real quick?</p><p>albertg: yeah, that’s hers</p><p>mamala: anything else in there?</p><p>barryobama: yep, her bag, her shoes, her hair brush...</p><p>mamala: hold on, hold on, why is all of this stuff in romney’s room</p><p>
  <em>*everyone goes silent for a couple seconds*</em>
</p><p>billyboy: OH SHIT</p><p>bushsbeans: oh my god</p><p>byeden: HOLY SHIT</p><p>barryobama: okay now this is gross</p><p>billyboy: YALL, THE ONLY TIME I LEAVE ALL MY STUFF IN AL’S ROOM IS WHEN IM HAVING SEX WITH HIM</p><p>albertg: BILL IF YOU DONT SHUT THE FUCK UP</p><p>billyboy: im sorry but it’s the truth</p><p>bushsbeans: it’s the fact that he’s so upfront about sex with you</p><p>albertg: george i swear to god</p><p>byeden: can you go check hillary’s room?</p><p>barryobama: okay, going up the stairs now</p><p>bushsbeans: so, let me get this straight, and correct me if im wrong, yall think that they had sex?</p><p>billyboy: THEY WERE IN THERE FUCKING</p><p>billyboy: THEY ARE IN THERE FUCKING! I BET THEY STILL ARE</p><p>byeden: BITCH I AM GONE</p><p>barryobama: y’all shut the hell up, im getting close to their room</p><p>mamala: everyone be quiet</p><p>
  <em>*obama knocks on the door*</em>
</p><p>barryobama: hillary? mitt?</p><p>
  <em>*he knocks again*</em>
</p><p>barryobama: hillary???</p><p>barryobama: okay, im going in</p><p>byeden: if they are having sex in there i will scream</p><p>barryobama: hold on let me cut on a light</p><p>barryobama: ...</p><p>mamala: what do you see?</p><p>albertg: is hillary in there?</p><p>byeden: are they in there</p><p>barryobama: ...</p><p>mamala: BARRACK???</p><p>billyboy: obama???</p><p>bushsbeans: obama can you hear us??</p><p>mamala: BARRACK SAY SOMETHING!!!</p><p>barryobama: y’all...</p><p>
  <em>*he flips his camera around*</em>
</p><p>byeden: HOLY FUCKING SHIT</p><p>mamala: AHHHH WHAT THE HELL</p><p>billyboy: OH SHIT</p><p>bushsbeans: oh my god...</p><p>albertg: WHAT</p><p>billyboy: FUCKING CALLED IT</p><p>rittmomney: OBAMA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??</p><p>barryobama: WHY ARE YOU IN HER ROOM??</p><p>hills: WHAT IS GOING ON?</p><p>rittmomney: wait who are you on the phone with?</p><p>billyboy: BITCH WE SAW EVERYTHING LMAO</p><p>hills: oh my god...</p><p>rittmomney: DUDE GET THE FUCK OUT</p><p>barryobama: OKAY IM LEAVING</p><p>
  <em>*he leaves and runs back downstairs*</em>
</p><p>barryobama: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD</p><p>byeden: AYEE LMAO</p><p>billyboy: mrs hillary was getting that rod 😩</p><p>byeden: that romney special 😫</p><p>mamala: BITCH WHAT</p><p>bushsbeans: lmao y’all stop</p><p>albertg: yall crazy fr</p><p>slimjim: why are people screaming?</p><p>byeden: omfg who’s gonna tell him</p><p>mamala: WAIT NO JIMMY IS TOO PURE</p><p>albertg: okay so, hillary and romney are together now</p><p>barryobama: and i went to see where they were bc neither of them were answering the phone, and mitt wasn’t in his room</p><p>barryobama: needless to say, they had sex</p><p>slimjim: 😦</p><p>mamala: and that’s when everyone started screaming</p><p>barryobama: I WENT IN THERE AND THEY WERE UNDER THE COVERS NAKED</p><p>slimjim: 😮😨</p><p>byeden: NOOOO</p><p>billyboy: OH WAIT YOU DIDNT TELL US THAT</p><p>mamala: OH SHIT</p><p>slimjim: this is too much</p><p>slimjim: y’all are too much, im going to bed 🍃💨</p><p>byeden: hold up</p><p>byeden: jimmy are you high???</p><p>billyboy: JIMMY ON THAT LEANNN</p><p>slimjim: 😂 🤦♂️</p><p>byeden: DEAD 💀</p><p>albertg: 😭😭😭</p><p>bushsbeans: ayo jimmy can you hook me up??? 👀</p><p>mamala: WAIT YALL KNOW THAT VINE???</p><p>billyboy: WAIT THE "85% LEANNN" ????</p><p>mamala: YEAH LMAO</p><p>byeden: "imma be drinking some of that lean 😩"</p><p>slimjim: you all are crazy, goodnight! 😴</p><p>mamala: gn jimmy!</p><p>billyboy: gn</p><p>albertg: goodnight jimmy</p><p>bushsbeans: sleep well</p><p>byeden: hope that lean treats you well jimmy 😴🍃</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tag yourself, im biden on this one 😭</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. pence and the paragraph</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>pence sends a paragraph dedicated to the president</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>2:17 am</strong>
</p><p>mamala: WHO TF IS PLAYING MUSIC NOW?</p><p>billyboy: TURN THAT SHIT OFF</p><p>barryobama: girl they’re playing xxxtentacion<br/>💀💀</p><p>byeden: TURN IT OFFFF</p><p>bushsbeans: it’s coming from outside again</p><p>albertg: wait</p><p>albertg: @pence where are you?</p><p>pence: outside w donald</p><p>barryobama: that explains it....</p><p>mamala: LMAO TURN THAT FUCKSHIT OFF</p><p>mamala: I WILL BEAT ASS THIS MORNING</p><p>mamala: I DO NOT CARE WHAT TIME IT IS</p><p>rittmomney: here we go again 😂🙄</p><p>billyboy: WAIT ROMNEY ISNT DEAD???</p><p>rittmomney: WHO TF SAID I WAS DEAD?</p><p>billyboy: how was ms hillary tho 😩😩😩</p><p>hills: im literally right here</p><p>billyboy: 😳</p><p>byeden: OH SHIT</p><p>albertg: bill if you don’t shut tf up</p><p>mamala: fuck this shit im going out</p><p>facistcheeto: yeah, who am i? someone that's afraid to let go, uh<br/>you decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah<br/>suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh<br/>i'm sad i know, yeah, i'm sad i know, yeah…</p><p>barryobama: this hoe is singing sad rn</p><p>byeden: BYE THIS BITCH COPY AND PASTED</p><p>rittmomney: LMAO</p><p>pence: can i come inside? i cant do this anymore</p><p>facistcheeto: man wtf?</p><p>facistcheeto: fucking traitor</p><p>byeden: hold on, lemme let you in</p><p>byeden: me and kamala are at the door</p><p>pence: i literally cannot stand you</p><p>facistcheeto: what?</p><p>byeden: here the door is unlocked</p><p>barryobama: wait you can’t stand him?</p><p>pence: hell fucking no</p><p>bushsbeans: dude i thought y’all were cool</p><p>pence: we aren’t</p><p>byden: OH SHIT</p><p>albertg: omfg</p><p>rittmomney: ...</p><p>barryobama: oh wow</p><p>byden: hurry up and come inside</p><p>pence: donald, you have been a piece of shit ever since i met you. the fact that you blame everyone else in the group chat for being "unethical", yet you were the one who asked me to be your running mate two weeks before the nominations</p><p>pence: it never fails to amaze me how you think you can do no wrong, and that anyone else other than members of your family is a peasant. you’ve actually hurt people, not metaphorically, but physically over the course of your four years, but want to get on Biden’s family for shit that they can’t control.</p><p>pence: speaking of family, that was insanely out of pocket to talk about beau like that. his son was on drugs, but like biden said, he fixed it. you tried to make it seem like beau died from an overdose on heroin when in actuality, it was from cancer.</p><p>pence: i have never liked you, but never had the courage to tell you. ive hung out with you so much that i have been manipulated by you. i didn’t mean any of that shit i said at that debate, and for the record, you were the one who instructed me to say all of that, or else you and your advisors would act as if im an abuser and lie about me to the public</p><p>pence: you are an abuser, mass manipulator, compulsive liar, sexist, racist, homophobic, xenophobic, ableist, i could go on and on</p><p>pence: there is so much more, but i don’t want to spam</p><p>pence: i’ll go into details later</p><p>mamala: oh my god</p><p>bushsbeans: jesus christ</p><p>hills: wow</p><p>byeden: woah</p><p>rittmomney: but notice how the music stopped</p><p>facistcheeto: you’re really acting like you didn’t have any part at all in this???</p><p>pence: do you not understand how much of a manipulator you are?????</p><p>pence: you made me believe so much bullshit that i can’t even begin to think how long the list would be</p><p>facistcheeto: i haven’t done anything wrong, and even if i did, you could have left at any time</p><p>barryobama: that’s not how manipulation works...</p><p>albertg: it goes much deeper than that</p><p>mamala: yeah..</p><p>rittmomney: ^^^^</p><p>billyboy: ^^</p><p>byeden: wow this shit got real</p><p>pence: but not to mention, you blamed everyone else for how your username got changed, i was the one that changed it hoe</p><p>pence: if you knew how to read, you would have saw that i said i did it twice</p><p>facistcheeto: fuck you</p><p>facistcheeto: i should have never picked you to be vp</p><p>pence: that’s fine, i should have never accepted it</p><p>byeden: damn!</p><p>barryobama: wow</p><p>facistcheeto: ive never liked you, from any period</p><p>pence: nothing you say phases me anymore, get a life and get your fucking priorities together</p><p>pence: you aren’t the president anymore</p><p>byeden: yeah bitch i am 😩🖕</p><p>hills: PERIOD</p><p>rittmomney: HELL YEAHH</p><p>bushsbeans: 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸</p><p>billyboy: FUCK YES</p><p>mamala: JOE</p><p>mamala: NOW IS NOT THE TIME</p><p>byeden: i had to say it, that bitch lost</p><p>byeden: BOTH WAYS</p><p>mamala: and me, joe, and everyone else in here will beat your ass if you step foot on the property of this house again</p><p>billyboy: and that’s on baby</p><p>pence: get the fuck off the property</p><p>
  <strong>*pence removed facistcheeto from the group*</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
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